Hi Kids. Last night it was the ladies, tonight is the guys. Bring it on, dudes. Mucho props to the producers for using Robbie Williams’ “Let Me Entertain You” for the men’s “how they got here” clip! Love Robbie. So, here we go. Batter up!
Patrick Hall. 27. Arkansas. Thin face. Lanky with a sharp nose. Average looks. For some reason I can picture him in the 80’s with a mullet. Anyway, Patrick is going to sing “Come to my Window” . I don’t see the Clay Aiken reference that Simon makes. He’s not bad, has a decent voice, but he’s going first and I will probably forget him by nights end. Judges review, shot of audience. Oh.My.Gawd, Becky! What the hell was that????? Who is “Patrick’s Friends”? Who told Carson Kressley to dress up in Drag tonight? And when did he get a gallon of collagen pumped into his lips? WTF? I am rolling…ROLLING on the floor laughing. Wait. Playback. OH MY GAWD. I captured a screen shot. Funniest moment EVAH on idol. Who just sang again? Cha Cha Cha for collagen lips Carson just for the laughs. Patrick gets 2.5 Cha’s.
Love her! Kids, just say no!
Ok. Back to the show.
David Radford. 17. Illinois. The crooner. He’s very cute. “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” Buble style. Davey’s got a little vibrato happy. And it doesn’t count when you shake your head like a turk-ey to create the viiiiibrrrraaaatttttooooo. I think he looked cuter in the auditions. Must be the hair. He’s got potential. Randy calls it. He looks like he was performing in a high school musical audition. He needs to clean it up. Put on a suit, tone down the movements and just sing. Think Connick, Buble. But he’s really cute & the girls and boys (although still jail bait) will like young Radford. 2.0 Cha’s
Bucky Covington. 28, North Carolina. What language is he speaking? I was waiting for the subtitles to pop up. I can’t understand the guy. I swore I heard a “Life is like a box of Choc-lates” somewhere in there. “Simple Man”. Skynard! He “lernt”playing the “gittar”. Right on. Ok, I don’t remember seeing this guy at all. Nice voice, dude. Woah. Who the hell is that scaring looking chick in the We Heart Bucky t-shirt? What trailer did they find her? Maybe she hitched a ride to Cali-for-nywith The Pickler? He’s got a surprisingly smooth rocker voice. Totally unexpected. Nice, southern rock. Ugly mo-fo, but he sure can sing, Jenn-ay. 2.5 Cha’s.
Will Makar. 16. Tejas. And it’s pronounced Ma-kar. Not Maker. Too bad because now I can’t say Will “Maker”, Dream breaker. Ok, I just did. “I Want You Back” by the Jackson 5. Ok, interesting song selection Will. And did anyone else find it kind of creepy that a 16 year old who could go by the name of Willy sings a song sang by Michael Jackson? Granted, it was a different Michael Jackson and he was black back then. But it’s just too funny on so many levels that a white kid sings a song by a black kid who eventually grows up to be a white woman. High energy. Kind of light & fluffy…like a Twinkie. I don’t know about this one. It’s kind of like I was watching the Andy Williams show and Young Willy was the long lost Osmond Brother singing a Jackson5 song during one of the musical segments. And did anyone else see ‘lil Pickler shaking her tooty and getting; down with the white boy soul of Will Makar Dream Breakar. Nice but empty. You can only have one twink and David is cuter so Willy needs to go bye bye. 2.0 Cha’s.
Jose Penala, 28 from California. Goes by “Sway”. He’s going to sing “Reasons” by EWF. Wow, this song throws me back to intermediate school when we would have dances and all the boys would be on one side and all the girls would be on the other and nobody would dance…even though you know we wanted to. I wanted to dance with Eric Capplonch but in those days, boys didn’t dance with boys unless a 6-pack of beer was involved. Kidding. But I digress. Oh yeah, Sway. He sings the entire song in his best Maurice White falsetto. Some notes were a little off, but he does hit the glory note that only dogs and Mariah can hear. Jose does look very sharp in his white fedora. I didn’t love it, but it was good. 2.0 Cha’s
Chris Daughtry. 26. North Carolina. This guy is sexy hot. Baldness suits him just fine. He sings Bon Jovi’s “Wanted Dead or Alive”. Now Chris said he’s sung this in bars so you know he’s performed this song a gagillion times in bars around the south. The song obviously suits his vocal stylings and he sings it very well. Nice strong gruff voice. I would like to see how he does with other genres. 2.5 Cha. And did I mention that I just want to rub oil all over his head, then down his bod ant then…Schwing.
Kevin Covais. NY. 16. The kid looks like a little kid. Did mommy & daddy give you permission to stay up late tonight, Kevin? He looks so young. Not the American Idol.
“one Last Cry” by Brian McKnight. They need to ban this song. After Camille botched it last year, I thought they would have banned it. But no, little Kevin sings it. He has an ok voice. He just doesn’t have the charisma to command attention. He’s a nice kid, but that’s just it. He’s just a kid and looks like a kid. Maybe America Junior Idol, but this is the big time. He reminds me of a toy doll. And the girls thinks he’s just cute, just like a toy, but when they want the real deal, they will toss his aside like yesterday’s news. 1.0 Cha’s.
Gedeon McKinney. 17. Tennessee. Big Smile. He’s going to sing “Shout”. What a very unusual choice of song. This could be very gimmicky. He’s nice looking, very presentable. This song suits Gideon very well. It’s fun & entertaining and he’s not wild & all over the place. Very controlled but yet fun. The jury’s still out on Gedeon because we didn’t see much of him in the audition rounds. I would like him to survive so I can hear more of a “regular” song out of him. At first I was hesitant, but the song selection was well done. 2.5 Cha’s
Elliot Yamin. 27. VA. Yamin must stand for bad teeth because his brother had the same teeth. “If You Really Love Me” by Stevie Wonder. This guy has a pure smooth & clear voice. It’s not expected from just looking at the guy. Not the best looking dude. Nothing stands out about him except maybe he needs dental work. But his voice is great. Simon says it may be the best male voice they’ve ever had. What….better than Jim Verraos? You must be mad, Cowell. 2.5 Cha’s.
Bobby Bennett, 19, Denver. He must have been a mile high to select “Copacabana” by Manilow. Bad bad bad song choice. Horrible, Muriel. Just bloody awful. If I thought Heather Cox sucked last night, Bobby sucked AND swallowed. It was just that gross. Since there was a no cha last night, I have to have one tonight and Bobby wins that award. Nice that you wore the suit, but dude, you are not getting a Dell AND you are getting booted from Idol tonight.
Ace Young, 25, LA. Aka. The Chosen One. TCO is very hot. Pretty look, pretty hair, pretty eyes, and pretty outfit. TCO is the one to beat. He sings “Father Figure” by George Michael. Ace looks like he has a nice bod. And he knows you know he has a nice bod. He’s the Constantine of this year, but only the upgraded and better version. Girls want him, guys want him. And you know Paula wants him. Randy might as well just bend over with the amount of pimping he’s giving Ace. Simon just says “Ka-Ching, Baby”. I think he’s good but his voice is not the most amazing in the competition. He did pick the perfect song tonight. 2.5 Cha’s.
Taylor Hicks, 29, Alabama. “Levon” by Elton John. I don’t get the family values speech but whatever. This guy can sing. Loved it. Of all the guys I “felt” this song the most. Taylor sings from the heart and you can tell he loves singing. Beautiful voice, but he is not the best looking fella. He just looks so old and even with a haircut, he doesn’t have and will never have the Ace factor. But that’s ok. Cha Cha Cha.
Overall as a group, the men are stronger than the women. But, if you narrow it down to 6 & 6, it evens up because there are 4 women who are just awesome. If America votes on ability rather than sympathy (Pickler) this could be an awesome top 12.
For tonight:
Taylor: 3.0
Elliot: 2.5
Chris: 2.5
Bucky: 2.5
Patrick: 2.5
Gedeon: 2.5
David: 2.0
Sway: 2.0
Will: 2.0
Kevin: 1.0
Bobby: None
Tonight 4 singers get eliminated and bring the Idolletes down to 20.
After week 1, my targeted Final 12 would be:
Paris, Taylor,
But somehow, I have a feeling Pickler & either David or Will be be there.
UNtil next time, be good, play fair & go out & buy yourself a nice box of choc-olates. I am OUT of here!
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