Hi Kids,
Well, better late then never, right? But after watching my digitally recorded Ladies Night of AmIdol. I should have just said “Never, Never again!”. What a wretched show and waste of time!
I tried really hard not to judge my opinions by what transpired on Wednesday night. So, first off we get to see Miss Ryan. She looks like she was wearing the same shirt, but only threw a jacket over it. Hello Judges. Whatever, I hit the fast forward button…kind of like that commercial where that old lady is reading her will and one of the relatives keeps hitting the fast forward button on the remote. I {heart} the skip feature on my remote!
First up is Omorossa. Now, I thought she was fired and would go away but here she is again on AI. No, seriously, first up is Yolandarossa. Now, I liked her look the first time we saw her, but then I believe she discovered Jem’s Truly Truly Outrageous Make-up kit because Missy goes a little postal with the make-up. Yolandarossa sings “Heatwave” with the obligatory flames “burning” on the Karaoke Jumbotron behind her. She’s wearing the hooker red dress and works the stage but I don’t think she’s doing well with the song. Kind of like when K-Locke tried to master the Heatwave. Uh-uh. No heatwave. Not even a simma. Yolandarossa, you better shape up or you will be Fired! At least if she’s eliminated, she can go back to the post office and maybe end up wearing Kara Saun’s custom designed Postal Worker outfit!
Amanda Avila. Treasure Island Girl sings “How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?” She’s pretty in a Sandra Bullock kind of way. I needed food so I hauled my ass into the kitchen so I can’t comment on the visuals. However, for the vocals, I thought Gracie Lou Freebush was weak. It was flat, sharp and everywhere in between. She might have well played the water glasses. She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s Miss United States., but after that performance, she’s no American Idol.
Janay: That green dress, which she also wore on Wednesday’s show, was far more interesting than her, and that’s not saying much. What did she sing again? Who cares!
Janono on Janay.
Melinda Lira: Good gawd, the girl’s trying to lay an egg on stage. Oh look, she’s doing the SS (shit squat) move. What’s up with the stance? Practicing for birth? Wrong song, wrong song, wrong song. Point here, point there, SS here, SS there. She’s got a husky voice, but she has no charisma. “The Power of Love” Ugh. They should take away votes from her just for singing that song. No more fuc*in’ Celine or Whitney! I can see why she got the lowest vote count.
Carrie Underwood: Why, it’s the Country Darlin’. Miss Underwood has a powerful voice with nice control. I wasn’t expecting on liking the All American Got Milk Farm girl, but I did enjoy her…but probably because the rest of the ladies have sucked so far. She will do well in the Country Pop field. Faith Hill Jr.
Nadia Turner: Hot hot hot. Nadia rockin’ the house. Love the look. Sexy Mama! Finally, someone who commands the stage and wakes people up from their Karaoke slumber. The girl’s got the star quality potential. Excellent job Ms. Turner. Foxy Lady!
Celina Rae: First it was Faith Hill jr, and now we have Martina McBride jr. She sings “I Will Love Again”. Well, at least it wasn’t Celine, but it is a Lara Fabian song, and Divalicious Lara can sound exactly like Saline. I don’t know what to make of this performance. She could have worked the stage a little more instead of just standing there belting out the song. It is a dance number, after all. She’s got a good voice, but as the judges say, this is not the right song for her. A Martina song would be perfect. She does have a fabulous body. Pretty girl with potential.
Sarah: Get Ready. YAWN! Yeah, Get Ready to blow chunks. This is awful. Another shit-squatter. Stand up, girl. A dancer she is not. A performer she is not. And I swear, the girl did a chicken dance shuffle/walk move which should never, never be shown on National Television ever again. My Blythe doll has more personality than Sarah. And I mention the Blythe doll because now that she’s off of AI, maybe Sarah can get a second career as an eye model, modeling her eyes as the template for another Blythe doll.
Mikalah Gordon: Miss personality. As mentioned on this board, Ms. Gordon is channeling a combination of Babs and Fran Drescher. “Young Hearts, Run Free” is her song of choice. I think the dress is wrong for the song, but Mikalah definitely has stage presence. Not the best vocally, but you just have to watch her. And that’s what it takes to be a star. Simon hit it right on when he said either people are going to love her or hate her. I would add, love me, or hate me, just don’t stop talking about me! That’s Mikalah.
Lindsey Cardinale. Aka, Julia DeMato part deux. Did she sing? I don’t remember her singing tonight. Sing Lindsey Sing. Point Lindsy Point, Suck Lindsey Suck. She sang some boring song which frankly, I don’t give a damn about. Not interesting at all. Maybe if she changed her name to Lindsy Cardinale-Sin and became a sexy vixen ala Miss Kylie, then maybe I’ll show some interest. But for now? Who?
Jessica Something: “Against All Odds”. My first impression? UGLY DRESS ALERT!. That “I just took my Halloween Witch costume, throw on some sparkles, and call it a dress” concoction was simply horrible. The fit was wrong, the exposed chest was nauseating and her posture sucked. Did she sing? I don’t know. I was too busy nodding off and having quick one minute frightmares about blondie singing me to sleep. Isn’t Jessica the same chick who wore that clownish looking duster coat in one of the earlier rounds? Girl, time to put the costumes away.
Aloha Mischeaux. Ah yes, the unseen mystery girl. Look at Miss Alohalani work that stage! You go, Beyonce….but actually look more like Fiona-yonce! She’s got kind of a Tina Turner vibe about her. Gonna start out slow, and end it rrrrrrrrough. You like that. Don’t’ you. You like it rrrrrrrrough. Uh –huh. With that song, you can’t really tell how good she is vocally, but she does have stage presence which puts her ahead of ¾ of the girls. Good Job. And I like to say her name. Aloha Mischeaux. It’s almost Drag-like. Aloha Mischeaux All-Ovah.
So that was the show. Overall, it was a big ho-hum. And no, I’m not calling the ladies “ho”…well, except for….
The Cha Cha Cha Gold is awarded to: Nadia Turner
Cha Cha Cha Silver: Aloha, Carrie, Mikalah
Cha Cha Cha Bronze (only because I have to give it out): Celena, Vonzell
Cha Cha Cha lumps of coal to: the rest I just don’t care about them. Check that, maybe if Gracie Lou Freebush sings something more interesting or gets dolled up like her TI show, or just sings better, I’d be more interested in her.
These three shows a week are killer. On Monday, the 10 remaining guys perform. Oh Happy Happy Joy Joy….especially if we get to see a Mureana Bulge. Until then, have a great weekend, wear clean panties, and take some time to Cha Cha Cha.
Cha Cha Cha is OUT of here!
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